The New York Court of Appeals has ruled that a marriage between an uncle and niece is not a violation of restrictions against incestuous marriage.
The court ruled that “parent-child and brother-sister marriages . . . are grounded in the almost universal horror with which such marriages are viewed . . . there is no comparably strong objection to uncle-niece marriages.”
The case focused on a Vietnamese citizen who married her uncle in what the government said was an illegal marriage in an attempt to not be deported. A judge in 2000 ruled the marriage invalid and ordered deportation.
The husband in the case was the half-brother of the girl’s mother.
“This really was an all-or-nothing issue for them,” lawyer Michael Marscalkowski commented. “If this would have been denied, she would have been deported and sent back to Vietnam.”
The lawyer argued that because they were only half-siblings, they only had at maximum 1/8th of the DNA like cousins, who are allowed to legally marry.
One of the biggest ways that Satan likes to attack and tear down Christians is to come between a husband and wife. That’s why part of this year’s Fourth of July festivities included a visit and talk from a counselor who focuses on helping Christians keep their marriages alive and healthy.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Ryan Pannell of Woodland Hills Counseling Center talked about the aspects of marriage that so many people forget when they feel the rush of love and dive in.
He shared one of his desires when conducting a wedding. He would make the bride and groom both carry large backpacks full of rocks. They could place them down during the “I dos” but have to pick them up again when they walk up the aisle together. He said it would be a good reminder that the joy of the marriage day doesn’t get rid of your baggage and issues and that you’ll continue to have issues after the wedding day.
Pannell spoke of the ways that we justify in our minds the actions we take but always assign ulterior motives to the actions of others including our spouse. He said casting those assertions puts us in a place where hostility can fester between spouses for slights that may not even exist.
He said that when couples work together to strengthen their marriage, to overcome adversity, to join together to show the fruits of the spirit, then God is glorified to all. He said that is a goal for all marriages.
The heart, Pannell said, is a key to God. The word heart shows up in the Bible over 700 times and Ryan believes that’s God’s way of showing how much our heart means to Him. How we need to make sure that He is number one in our hearts because that’s the only way we can truly be right for our spouses.
He reminded everyone of the promise of Psalm 139:14: That we all are fearfully and wonderfully made.
A Christian counselor is standing up against the world’s redefining the word submission and says a wife submitting to her husband as commanded by Scripture can be a beautiful thing.
Christina Fox says that submission is not about forced control, as the world wants to define the word. Fox says that the world tries to equate submission with negative words or phrases like “door mat”, “inferior” or “controlled.” Fox says that when you follow the Scriptures, the exact opposite is actually seen.
“When a man leads his wife, he is leading her to depend on Christ, not on himself,” says Fox, who has been married for 17 years. “The kind of leadership a husband provides his wife is to encourage her growth in grace and prepare her to be a co-heir in the coming kingdom. Scripture teaches that we are to ‘encourage one another and build each other up’ (1 Thessalonians 5:11).”
Fox says that in today’s world, the only way for a couple to truly have Biblical submission play out properly in their lives is to stick closely to the Word of God.
“It is only through the power of Jesus and his gospel at work in our lives that the beauty of submission can blossom in our marriages,” Fox says.
Fox adds that a woman following her husband in Biblical submission is a reflection of Christ’s people following their Savior with a heart of faith.
I thought of another Bible verse I had memorized: “I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten.” God was doing that in my life, giving back the years I had lost because of my sin and rebellion. He had done it in several areas already.
Having made the choice to have five abortions, I lost the opportunity to ever have children. Yet God had blessed me with many spiritual offspring—like “my girls,” Kelli, Nicks, Morgan, Nina, and Michelle Murillo. He’d given me an inner-city family—Margie’s family—complete with a namesake, Little Lori.
Margie had been pregnant with her eighth child when we met at the Fashion Share. Margie had accepted Jesus as her Savior and the church had outfitted her with maternity clothes and accessories. Two months later I was in the delivery room when her baby was born.
My mind drifted back to that occasion, December 6, 1990……. Continue reading →
Mother’s Day 2000
I gave Jim a quick kiss when I read his cards, and then I opened the package, which he had meticulously wrapped himself. Inside was a darling little doll in a green travel case. The pretty blond had on a frilly dress and tiny little socks and patent leather shoes.
“She’s adorable honey. Thank you.”
“She’s blonde and beautiful, just like you.”
Jim served me lunch, and we chatted about our ministry schedule and upcoming events as we ate. When we finished our meal, I stood up and started to clear the coffee table.
“Leave that for a minute,” He said. “I have another present for you—“ Continue reading →
When Jim and I were dating, we often talked on the phone into the night about everything; sharing personal stories, learning all about each other as sweethearts do at the beginning of a relationship. He described the emotional devastation he had gone through in prison, and I started opening up about my past. Continue reading →
My years of ministry in Master’s Commission had prepared me for whatever might come my way… or so I thought. When I met Jim and fell in love with him and then married him shortly after, there were many challenges I had to face and overcome. Some of the challenges had to do with who Jim was, what had happened to him, and Jim’s high-profile life.
I was instantly catapulted into the life of the famous, or in Jim’s case, infamous to many. I had always had lots of friends but I also had a side of me that was private. There were things that only God and I shared, some things that I shared with a few close companions, and some things I shared with family and friends. But I had always been able to choose how much of my life I would broadcast and to whom. That is, until I married Jim. I found out very quickly that Jim’s method of “full disclosure” would be my best modus operandi. Continue reading →
By the spring of 1989, I was getting my life together. The ten-year nightmare of my ill-advised marriage was over. I had recommitted my life to Christ, joined Master’s Commission, and began this wonderful life of living and ministering for Jesus. I had been in ministry for several years when I met Jim at the Dream Center in L.A.
Shortly after I met Jim and we had our first date, both of us knew that it was far more than a date; we were already falling in love. And we knew that it was God bringing this love into our lives at the very time both of us had just about given up on ever finding love again. Continue reading →
During all the drama of my first marriage, I can still remember the times when the Spirit of God had wooed me. He never left me, even in the midst of my rebellion. There were times I would be high on drugs, and I could feel the Holy Spirit hovering over me, protecting me and shielding me from the agenda of the enemy – to steal, kill and destroy my life. That may fly in the face of some religious thought out there, but it was true never-the-less.
Through His mercy, kindness and long-suffering, the Lord drew me back to Himself. Though I had known Him as a child, I had not lived for Him in a very long time. So when I committed to Him again in my late twenties, it was almost as if I had no idea how to live this new life. I didn’t know how to be ‘religious’ and didn’t like ‘churchy’ things or people. Yet all things were new and nothing of the past held any draw for me anymore. Now divorced with a very checkered past, I knew only that my life was redeemed, and that was more than enough! Continue reading →
In my book, “More Than I Could Ever Ask”, I tell all the details about my first husband whom I chose for all the wrong reasons, none of which had anything to do with God. When I met him, I was very young and naive and my ability to make good decisions was not yet mature. Add to that the influence of drugs and you have a recipe for disaster and that is what happened. The choices I made as a young woman led to 10 years of hell and heartache.
Remember the old Frank Sinatra song “I Did It My Way”? It sounded really great to the generation that was being raised to indulge in the world and all of its pleasure. We heard things like “go for the gusto” and “you only live once” and we bought it. We bought the lie that we had a right to sinful lusts and worldly living that the Bible says brings pleasure for a season, but eventually brings death. We bought the world’s philosophy of “self fulfillment”. Continue reading →
