Tag Archives: ministry

On Being a Bondservant of Christ (Pt. 7)

Part Seven

“What Reputation?”

1998

“I’ve had a dream of marrying a preacher or minister – someone to share my vision, someone who’s not threatened that I have a ministry of my own but who wants me to partner with him in God’s work. Over the years that dream has seemed pretty remote at times. Just a few months ago, I finally let God put that dream back in my heart, even though I knew it would take a miracle. I’m a woman with a very checkered past, and that past is part and parcel of my ministry. But marrying someone like me could ruin a minister’s reputation…” I stopped, suddenly unsure and embarrassed that I had revealed so much of what lay deep inside my heart.

“Now, isn’t it interesting,” Jim said, “that I don’t have a reputation left to ruin. Not a shred of respectability.”

We both burst out laughing.

Excerpt from “More Than I Could Ever Ask” by Lori Bakker

When I first surrendered my life to the Lord, I was petrified that ‘church people’ would find out the full extent of my sins, especially the abortions, and then they would want nothing to do with me. But, in order to bring about my full healing and restoration, it wasn’t long before the Holy Spirit arranged a full disclosure of what I had done – first, to my own soul – and then quickly to others from whom I was destined to receive ministry. God had already forgiven me, but He wanted to begin a healing process – one which I would eventually minister to others.

At that point in my life, I was unaware of the full extent of the ministry into which the Lord was calling and directing me. In fact, the Master’s Commission program I had become a part of was fully focused on discipleship – and I had a lot of learning to do to become the vessel that God could use.

It was 10 years in this program that taught me how to be a servant first – that prepared me to stand up under the weight of my calling. You see, what my leaders and mentors knew was that the enemy’s plan was to make me a ‘shooting star’ by launching a spiritually immature woman into a high-profile ministry too soon – too much, too soon – and consequently, shipwrecking the plan of God.

No, that wasn’t going to happen to me and they made sure of it.

My first task in Master’s Commission was learning what it meant to serve – a concept foreign to much of today’s ‘self esteem’ driven teaching. I didn’t get to jump on into the pulpit to preach – I got to jump into a bus and drive to the inner-city of Phoenix!

(continued)

On Being a Bondservant of Christ – Part 1
On Being a Bondservant of Christ – Part 2
On Being a Bondservant of Christ – Part 3
On Being a Bondservant of Christ – Part 4
On Being a Bondservant of Christ – Part 5
On Being a Bondservant of Christ – Part 6
On Being a Bondservant of Christ – Part 8
On Being a Bondservant of Christ – Part 9
On Being a Bondservant of Christ – Part 10

Becoming a Hope Craftswoman (Pt. 1)

I opened my Bible to 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, which I had often prayed over in my ministry: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

“Heavenly Father,” I prayed, “please help me to show my wounds today, so that you may use them as a source of healing.”

It is never pleasant to relive the past when I share my testimony.  But I do it because God uses it to comfort others.  A hurting woman knows I understand her pain and suffering when she hears that I have been down the same road.  And when she receives healing from God, she will extend that same comfort to yet others so that the circle of wounded healers widens.

I’ll never forget the first time I shared a short testimony before a group of women at Phoenix First in the fall of 1990.  I had panicked at the thought of standing before the pastors’ wives and the matriarchs of the church and telling them even the briefest highlights of my sordid past.  I had been a Christian for only about eighteen months, and I still carried a dump truck size load of shame about my past sins, even though I knew God had forgiven me and completely changed my life—in fact, he had called me into full-time ministry.

They’re going to shun me, I thought.  They’ll talk about me, and I’ll never be able to hold my head high.  I’ll have to leave the church.  They think I’m the perfect little Christian, but when they find out. . .

On and on the accusing voice assaulted my mind.  My stomach was so tied in knots; I didn’t think I could go through with it.  I nearly backed out at the last minute, but I managed to battle my fear and honor my commitment to give a five-minute testimony.

I was petrified as I stepped behind the pulpit—the spot usually occupied by Tommy Barnett, one of the most respected pastors in America.  What an incredible honor.  Some one thousand women were in the audience, about six or seven hundred from the inner city and three or four hundred ladies from Phoenix First.  The lights were dimmed, so I couldn’t see their faces.  But I definitely heard them respond when I took the microphone and said, “From the time I was seventeen to the time I was twenty-one, I had five abortions.”  The loud gasps throughout the audience paralyzed me for a moment, but I finished my story and then sat down to listen to the other testimonies.  Well, now they know, I thought.  I wondered if anybody would even speak to me, or if they would just avoid me.

One of the first people I saw afterward was Marja Barnett, my pastor’s wife.  Phoenix Fist Assembly is a huge church, and as I recall, she had never spoken to me before, except perhaps to say hello.  This beautiful, gracious woman came over to me, kissed me on the cheek, and then clasped my hands.  “Oh, Lori, you poor thing,” she said in her lilting Swedish accent. “I never know you have such a horrible life—I can’t believe what you go through.  I’m so happy you are in our church.  I love you so much!”

I don’t remember exactly what she said after that.  All I know is that Marja’s love and acceptance flowed over my soul that day like a healing balm.  Now, eight years later, she had invited me to the Dream Center, and my heart’s desire was to extend the same encouragement to those who needed it.

(to be continued)

Becoming a Hope Craftswoman – Part 2
Becoming a Hope Craftswoman – Part 3

On Marriage, Motherhood and Ministry

My readers often ask me how I do it – how I manage marriage, motherhood and ministry all at the same time.  The short answer is “I don’t” and the long answer is “He gives me grace”.  Though a book could be written on each aspect of my life and someday, probably will, today I want to start addressing these topics in little bites on my blog.  You’ve heard the expression “How do you eat an elephant” and most of us know that the only way you can do that is “one bite at a time”.  So, that’s how we’re going to start to cover these topics… a little at a time.

I will begin with a little background on where I came from and my thoughts about where I’m going.  I will always be completely open and transparent about everything because I believe that people are looking for other REAL people, not people wearing masks or personas.  The Lord knows we have enough of those kind of people!  When I’ve opened up like this in the past, some have said that it’s just TMI (too much information) and I need not tell every little detail of my life!

But what I hear from my Heavenly Father is that my life is to be an open book because it is my testimony that will help many people to recover from lives that were train wrecks like mine, and to be restored to a place of right standing with God, and then to minister powerfully out of what He has done!  Rick Joyner has said that your anointing is in direct proportion to the degree of your suffering.  My decisions in my life before Jesus caused me much pain by my own rebellion.  But after you become a Christian, your life is supposed to be simple, wonderful and pain-free.  Well, isn’t it?

In my early years of ministry, I worked very hard to overcome rejection and shame.  Even after you are born-again into the family of God, sometimes it’s hard for others to forgive and forget your past.  Oh, they say you are accepted, but some will never view you in any other way than defective.  It’s ok.  You are not limited by what others may think or say.  You are playing to an audience of ONE.  You are free in God to do and say what He says.  Words are powerful.  They have the power to either heal or hinder.  As for me, I will use my words to help others heal (Isaiah 61).

Today, I live to tell of His love, forgiveness, goodness, and restoration.  I live to know Him and to make Him known.  There were those who encouraged me in my testimony, and there were those who preferred I would just come to church, sit quietly and not cause any waves.  Let those who are qualified to minister, minister!  As I said in an earlier blog, God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

A religious spirit will always try to shut you up and sit you down or at the very least, minimize what you have to say.  This is my story, my testimony, and I will tell it to the world in the way God has instructed!  I am trusting that some of you need to hear it and will walk with me through this journey God has called Lori Beth Bakker’s life and testimony.

I will build with every new blog, so be sure to read my blogs regularly.  But if you miss one, they will be archived and readily available so you can go back to pick up prior ones.

God Bless You!

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