Tangible Loneliness – A Call to Examine Your Theology?
Tim told of a time when he had been speaking to a large crowd. They had clapped their hands and cheered him as a great and entertaining speaker. But when the auditorium was empty, Tim walked out alone and drove back to his hotel room, where he had intentionally left the lights on so the room would not seem so dark and lonely when he returned.
The light didn’t help.
The pain he had been able to put out of his mind for a short time while he was speaking to the group came back with a vengeance. He tried to sleep but could not because of the pain, yet he was too tired and emotionally drained to do much else. Exhausted, Tim closed his eyes and hoped and prayed morning would come quickly. It didn’t. Tim tried to write.
Just then, at one of his weakest moments, Tim Hansel wrote in his journal words that God used to begin prying open the ever-thickening shell I was building around my heart. Tim wrote, “The loneliness was so bad tonight that it sucked all the oxygen out of the room. It was so intense it felt like it could peel the paint off the walls.”
Whoooom! Tim’s words exactly described what I had been feeling since coming to prison. I was amazed that another person had put into words my exact emotions.
Tim continued, “Lately I have experienced a loneliness so deep that I feel as though I need a second heart to contain all the pain.”
Yes! I wanted to shout. That’s how I have been feeling. My heart had been so badly bruised over the past three years, I had pulled into myself and I did not want to be hurt anymore.
I read Tim’s book. And reread it. I underlined things that spoke to my heart and mind. And then I read it again. Tim wrote:
Loneliness does not always come from emptiness. Sometimes it is because we are too full …full of ourselves. Full of activity. Full of distractions. Paradoxically, if I want to heal the loneliness in my life, I’ve got to get away …to be alone with God.
Tim suggested that part of the reason God allows us to walk through the valleys in ourlives is so we will learn to depend on Him in new ways.
But I can’t even hear God’s voice anymore! I talked back to the pages. I feel like God has abandoned me.
No, Tim wrote, “Loneliness is not a time of abandonment …it just feels that way. It’s actually a time of encounter at new levels with the only One who can fill that empty place in our hearts.”
I had been reading Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn’s books about the same time as I had received Tim’s. I had even written in the front of my Bible one of the statements the brilliant Russian writer had penned while in prison: “When you have robbed a man of everything, he is no longer in your power. He is free again.” I felt like I had lost everything, but I in no way felt free …yet.
Through the combined impact of Hansel’s and Solzhenitsyn’s books, I caught the first dim glimpse of what God might be doing in my life. Tim drove home the message:
Perhaps one of the main reasons we fall into loneliness and despair is that we are so preoccupied with ourselves, so invested in our own egos. We’re so concerned with how we are doing that we can’t seem to get a clear focus on what God is doing in us and around us.
Could it be? I wondered. Could it possibly be true that I was in prison by the very design of God? Was there really a larger purpose behind my imprisonment, as some of my friends had implied?
I didn’t know where God was, but I was not about to attribute my loneliness to God’s plan for my life. That thought did not fit into my theology very well, so I tossed it aside.*
*Question for further reflection: If your life presented circumstances that flowed contrary to your theology (how you understand God), could you or would you seek a deeper understanding of God’s ways? God does not change, but our understanding of Him should as we mature in the faith.
This is my first time commenting & really actually reading all the comments. It shows me that this is truly a trying time for all God’s people. I,too,am going through some tough times and have been questing God,but I know He is faithful & all His promises are yes & Amen.What Larry said, I tend to agree, we can get too self-centered, concerned about our own well being instead of looking out to be a help to others and letting Our Lord use us in His way.I’m determined to grow up & stop bemoaning my lot.God bless you, Pastor Jim!!!
Dear Pastor Jim,
Loneliness could sometimes be a good thing and can bring you closer to GOD in the long run as for you GOD showed you show much when you were in prison to go out a get people ready for Revelation and I feel that you are a blessing in showing everyone and getting the prophets on your show too.
Thanks so much for all that you have been showing,teaching,preaching as for me I am by myself in my household since my family only like Joyce Meyer and will not listen to what I have learned for anyone else on the end of times they want to fight with me, so I do not say a word it does not pay to fight with them and all I do is pray for them all the time…
Thanks again and May GOD Bless you and your family for many years to come!
People are for the most part self centered beings. I Think of the times when God must have been lonely when I was so caught up in the things of my life. I didn’t take time to pray or talk to God. We really should be talking to God throughout our day. God likes to be included in every detail of our live.
Sometimes loneliness is good thing, when the alternative is a friend or colleague who just won’t shutup long enough for you to have a chance to respond. Then solitude is your best friend, a place to find relaxation. Just think of being like a monk, high up in a tree house, left undesturbed for hours to read your bible or a good book.
I feel my greatest fault was not comforting and spending more time with those who hunger and thirst for friendship or just someone to talk to. They are so lonely for someone to share with. We should make time for others less fortunate then us and minister to their loneliness.
The Trial of Your Faith (Pt. 10)
Tangible Loneliness – A Call to Examine Your Theology?
Dear Sir,
I begin to think, ‘Why does God do what he does to individuals on our planet?’
I’m sure many many books could be written on that question alone. All of those different schools of thought.
One reason why from my point of view is a ‘protection mechanism’.
I feel for many years I’ve been in the wilderness. What was God’s purpose here? To preserve me and protect me from the hustle and bustle of people, keep me intact to ‘spread the Good News’.
Perhaps the reasons were similar regarding yourself Sir.
Prison could be thought of as a form of protection, and Jesus wants you to proclaim his word for many years to come.
This is just my opinion though.
The bible tells us that Jesus prayed in solitary places.
The solitude that God puts people through must be good for the soul. Jesus loves us.
Our solitude that has been put our way over the years, I believe prepares us to do God’s work, to help put his word forward and save his lost sheep and lambs.
Mark 1:39 states,
And he preached in their synagogues throughout all Galilee, and cast out devils. (KJV).
This is what Jesus did after praying in lonely places. Preaching the beautiful word of God. The evil just fled from people and their sin.
Thank you,
God bless.
Stephen.
Stoke-on-Trent
UK
Oh my…I only skimmed throgh this story…brought back too many times in the past especially when i felt the breath was being taken from me.
I’ll just stick to watching your show 😉 boy you just are always saying things FOR ME…I am so glad that there’s someone to tell it like it is..
i could survive out of the woods…mom used to take us kids spring, summer, fall and sometimes winter …there was alwas something to eat there AND would you believe medicine?…But you have to KNOW how to get the right thing.
One of these days I WILL get out there. I think I hear His call…I’ve been through a long odeal had given up (almost) but today when John Kerpatrick prayed I recieved the healing.
You are my family…so keep up Gods work, and just keep on being you.
In Christ love
Jean Hale