Part Seven

“What Reputation?”

1998

“I’ve had a dream of marrying a preacher or minister – someone to share my vision, someone who’s not threatened that I have a ministry of my own but who wants me to partner with him in God’s work. Over the years that dream has seemed pretty remote at times. Just a few months ago, I finally let God put that dream back in my heart, even though I knew it would take a miracle. I’m a woman with a very checkered past, and that past is part and parcel of my ministry. But marrying someone like me could ruin a minister’s reputation…” I stopped, suddenly unsure and embarrassed that I had revealed so much of what lay deep inside my heart.

“Now, isn’t it interesting,” Jim said, “that I don’t have a reputation left to ruin. Not a shred of respectability.”

We both burst out laughing.

Excerpt from “More Than I Could Ever Ask” by Lori Bakker

When I first surrendered my life to the Lord, I was petrified that ‘church people’ would find out the full extent of my sins, especially the abortions, and then they would want nothing to do with me. But, in order to bring about my full healing and restoration, it wasn’t long before the Holy Spirit arranged a full disclosure of what I had done – first, to my own soul – and then quickly to others from whom I was destined to receive ministry. God had already forgiven me, but He wanted to begin a healing process – one which I would eventually minister to others.

At that point in my life, I was unaware of the full extent of the ministry into which the Lord was calling and directing me. In fact, the Master’s Commission program I had become a part of was fully focused on discipleship – and I had a lot of learning to do to become the vessel that God could use.

It was 10 years in this program that taught me how to be a servant first – that prepared me to stand up under the weight of my calling. You see, what my leaders and mentors knew was that the enemy’s plan was to make me a ‘shooting star’ by launching a spiritually immature woman into a high-profile ministry too soon – too much, too soon – and consequently, shipwrecking the plan of God.

No, that wasn’t going to happen to me and they made sure of it.

My first task in Master’s Commission was learning what it meant to serve – a concept foreign to much of today’s ‘self esteem’ driven teaching. I didn’t get to jump on into the pulpit to preach – I got to jump into a bus and drive to the inner-city of Phoenix!

(continued)

On Being a Bondservant of Christ – Part 1
On Being a Bondservant of Christ – Part 2
On Being a Bondservant of Christ – Part 3
On Being a Bondservant of Christ – Part 4
On Being a Bondservant of Christ – Part 5
On Being a Bondservant of Christ – Part 6
On Being a Bondservant of Christ – Part 8
On Being a Bondservant of Christ – Part 9
On Being a Bondservant of Christ – Part 10