Pastor Jim & Lori Bakker welcome Gary Smalley and John & Maricela Woodall on The Jim Bakker Show.

Topics

Seasons of Marriage

Communication

Songs

My Gift of Worship

Quotes

A woman never believes that a man can shut his brain down, but they can. -Pastor Jim Bakker

The language of a relationship is the way to effectively communicate. -Dr. Gary Smalley

The greatest thing a woman can do for a man is to praise him for his accomplishments. -Dr. Gary Smalley

Women have told me over the years “I wish my husband would hold me and comfort me when I’m upset” -Dr. Smalley

Narrative

Dr. Gary Smalley’s new book, “4 Days to a Forever Marriage” is a great conversation starter. Dr. Smalley and his wife, Norma, wrote this book out of the dedication to each other. Every marriage goes through a season of marriage. It is important for couples to spend quality time together. Pastor Jim and  Lori Bakker made known their need to have romantic alone time with each other. Due to their public lifestyle, being alone in public even for a candlelight dinner can be difficult.

One of the chapters in “4 Days to a Forever Marriage” discusses the art of timing. Picking the right time to convey important conversations is important. Lori shared that with Pastor Jim it is about timing. There is a time and place to discuss certain things. Dr. Smalley also shared that with his wife, Norma, they cannot discuss important issues after 4pm. Pastor Jim shared that he is the sharpest in the morning and he does not like anything to be discussed in the afternoon. Pastor Jim is a morning person, while Lori is not a morning person. This has caused them great difficulty over the thirteen years of marriage.

Pastor Jim shared he is marrying off another daughter. Lori shares that the ministry receives a great deal of wedding invitations. Lori wants to send them all something, but there are financial restraints. Lori shares that for wedding gifts, she usually gives the couple a “Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage” DVD. Since reading Dr. Smalley’s new book, she has decided she will now be sending both the DVD and “4 Days to a Forever Marriage”

One fascinating tip that Pastor Jim brought out was why Hollywood is so quick to jump in and out of marriages. Most people want that swinging from the chandelier feeling, but that quickly fades after a couple years. Love goes into a more comfortable situation after the honeymoon period is over. Love is actually a chemical thing and the bond intensifies over time.

Mark Gungor’s video “Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage” was an awesome representation of how a man’s brain works. He stated that the male brain is made up of tons of little boxes. A man makes sure that these boxes do not touch at all. When a man wants to use something they take down a box, but they put it neatly away when they are done. A man can use only one box at a time but, still making sure it does not touch anything. He said that a woman’s brain is like a ball of wire. The ball of wire is driven by energy called emotions. Women remember everything and everything is connected. Men are less emotional and do not care about anything, while women seem to care about everything.

Lori shared that her niece, Amber, just had a baby boy. Amber is like a daughter to Lori. Pastor Jim shares that Lori becomes concerned about the little things. She was worried about Amber’s dog while she was in the hospital. Pastor Jim used this illustration to demonstrate how a woman thinks of every little thing. Men and women think differently and they react differently.

Every marriage has a language. Emotional word pictures are what a man responds best too. Men respond best to using descriptive words and making metaphoric expressions. Dr. Smalley says that his wife was too strict on the children growing up. He said that they often experienced the need to get out and have fun, but his wife was always careful. When his wife explained things to him in pictures, he understood and it stuck with him. For example saying to a man “I am a grenade and about to explode” gets the message out to them in terms they understand.

Dr. Smalley shared that men need praise from their spouse. He shared that to him, the only person’s opinion that matters is Norma’s. Men put their wives higher above anyone else when they speak encouraging words, but when negative is spoken it is devastating to them. Speaking encouraging words are so important to a marriage.

This is a powerful episode that shows the ins and outs on how to have a stronger marriage. Marriage is something that takes work; it will not just be perfect. By taking time and dedication a marriage can be a successful and pleasurable experience.

Pastor Jim ends the show with an update on Lori’s House. They are currently working on the foundation, which has been completely paid for.  Pastor Jim shares the importance of building a firm foundation.

Love Gifts

4 Days to A Forever Marriage

3 for 2 4 Days to A Forever Marriage

Couple’s Offer

Men’s Christmas Offer

Women’s Christmas Offer

Kevin Shorey 2011 Christmas CD

Valley Walkers Club